This morning I sat at breakfast nibbling on a mango full of nervous energy. We were headed to Petit Anse. We had been prepped it would be a difficult place to see and I was anticipating feeling emotional. Evan reminded us at breakfast to ask ourselves: what does God see when He looks there. 

And it was emotional. We pulled up to the orphanage and immediately the kids started spilling out from the front porch. 

Warily approaching us with warmth and curiosity. A little boy in a blue shirt wandered over closer to our SUV and I met his huge dark eyes. 

As I crouched down to say hi and ask for his name in Creole. He whispered softly and I missed it. His little hand slipped into mine and he captured my heart instantly. 

And from there it slowly began to break. What does God see when He looks here?

We toured Petit Anse and saw Pastor Dugue and Madame Dugue’s house, which is also where the feeding program is. We were there to help build a new kitchen area. On our walk to their house we wandered the streets and there was garbage everywhere you looked. Actual garbage. It’s something you can't even begin to describe. 

What does God see when He looks here?

You know what? It was a hard day and I feel sad. But I asked myself in the car ride home as the tears were brimming in my eyes; what does God see when He looks here?

I think He sees a Pastor who is obedient to Him. I think He sees the Pastor’s wife loving kids and feeding them. I think He sees orphans caring for orphans. Braiding each others hair. I think He sees people living deeply in community. 

When Jesus says we should love our neighbours, this is what it looks like. Haitians are best example of this. 

The little boy in the blue shirt, who’s name I later found out was Kenny. He fell asleep in my arms. Another child older then him scooped Kenny up and out of my arms to put him in bed. Did you read that?! Another child caring so sweetly for another child. 

My heart has been slowly breaking today. Little moments when I am hit with things the people are missing, but when I asked myself what does God see when He looks here? He sees love. Communities loving each other. 

At dinner tonight I was reminded that when God looks down on our day in Petit Anse He saw the children in the orphanage with so much love and me too. He saw me there too. We are ALL his beloved children. 

Today can only be described simply as beautiful, hard and beautiful.

-Tara

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