Yesterday was a very special day for me. In order to tell you about it I'll have to take you back to May 2013 when I was here with Evan, Christin and Gwen. Gwen was having her baptism re-affirmed in the Jordan River. The event was so beautiful and very emotional for her and to my surprise, for me too.
When it was over I found myself walking back to the edge of the river and facing the rippling water. I had spent the past week in the company of some great people who had been grounded in their faith for much longer than I was. I was feeling so inadequate and quite frankly, a little lost..."Did I deserve to be a child of God?"
Shortly after that I had a bit of a meltdown. I was overwrought with a profound sense of sadness and could not pull myself together. Gwen tried to help console me, but it nothing was working. A short while later, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Evan standing there. He asked me what was going on. I could barely speak but I tried to explain how I was feeling and we talked about it. My friendship with Evan was fairly new, but I soon came to realize that one of his skills was his ability to comfort others in times of distress and sadness. Then we prayed.
I realized that no one was judging me or my “new faith”, or whether it was deep enough. God has always known that I was one of his children and he had been looking for me.
I have done quite a bit of soul searching since then and have grown in my faith so I was really excited to re-affirm my baptism on this trip. There is something very special about being baptized in the same river that Jesus was baptized in by John the Baptist. Did my faith take a major leap because of it? Well I'm not sure about that, but I did experience a sense of calm while it was happening and I know now more than ever, that I am a child of God.
Part of the reading Evan shared with us before we went into the Jordan was, "by his power we call God, Abba. Because you are his child, God gives you the rights of those who are his children."
As we drove away from the Jordan, I remembered I had seen a hand painted sign on an old abandoned building it read, "Plant Love and Harvest Peace" throughout this trip we are constantly reminded of the tension that exists here. For me, I am reminded that if we can calm our hearts long enough, love will emerge as inner peace.